The Hair of the Dog

Have you ever heard the expression “the hair of the dog that bit you”?

While it originated from an old wives’ tale that you could heal a dog bite by placing some of the dog’s hair in your wound, this strange concept is now commonly used to refer to the “hangover cure” of having another drink in the morning. 

Not surprisingly, neither of these remedies have actually received any scientific backing. But this does not discount the deeper and more powerful truth behind the idea of paradoxical cures. This is what the great poet Rumi meant when he wrote “the cure for the pain is the pain.” Another way of putting it is to “hurt more, suffer less.” The common thread? You actually have to let in the thing that hurt you, in order to stop hurting.

At first glance, these concepts may feel a bit bewildering. None of us like to feel grief, anxiety, rage or despair—even boredom in our society has become increasingly hard to tolerate. And not only do we not like to feel these things, it’s never been easier for us to turn off and tune out—while our ever-growing to-do lists seem to give us more and more excuses to trade feeling for avoiding.

And yet, we also know that feeling—including feeling pain—is adaptive. We know that when babies cry, it alerts us to their needs. We know that when we ourselves were young and got burned by a hot stove, the memory of this experience became a means of self-protection. 

We also know, through news stories around the world, that those born with the rare condition of being unable to feel pain often do not even reach adulthood. They are often, quite literally, killed by their lack of feeling. And as much as we don’t like to admit it, our emotional experience can follow much the same principle.

So if you want to kill joy, avoid heartbreak. And if you want to stifle your confidence, there is no better way than to run from your shame. But if you’re on AR-GO, it’s probably safe to assume that you long for a life of meaning—a life that risks feeling, in all three dimensions. And if that’s the case, then the old adage is really true: The only real cure for your pain is the hair of the dog that bit you. 

So, how do we actually practice letting pain in? 

Consider trying a Tonglen meditation, in which we breathe in suffering, and breathe out compassion. In the words of renowned Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron, this practice “reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure” and in this way, is a method for “overcoming our fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our hearts.”

You can try a Tonglen practice here. Plus, every AR-GO event—and moment of your life, really—is an opportunity to lean a little closer into the feelings that scare you. 

~Text by Shaina List